Six Reasons I Live in an Astro

I think this is the most asked question: why don’t you live in an RV? A bus? A box van? Or at least a full size van?

1. I get 26 MPG. No one ever believes me, but I’ve calculated it a gazillion times. You know what kind of gas mileage big old camper vans get? Like 15. RV’s, buses, and big box trucks? 8-12. Maybe if I stayed in one place more it wouldn’t matter as much, but I’m on the move a lot.

2. I can drive everywhere everyone else can! When I lived in a bus there was no place to park and we didn’t venture far from the freeway because we just couldn’t get in many places. I can even get down little dirt trails in the middle of nowhere that we really couldn’t get to in the bus.

3. It’s at least a little stealth. I’m not super-stealth about it, but at least when I pull up to a new strip club people don’t say, “is that a bus? Do you live in there?” Or, “did you say you’re from Alaska? There’s this big ol’ box truck out there with Alaska plates…” They mostly don’t notice it. It’s just another mini-van.

4. Unlike other mini-vans, it’s tough. It’s built on a truck chassis. You can tow things. You can load it up. It’s not made out of plastic. It’s not the mechanical nightmare of an Aerostar or something.

5. Unlike other mini-vans, it’s got square edges. You can put shelves all around. And I think it’s bigger than other mini-vans.

6. It’s exactly the perfect amount of space. I’m serious.